Trying to figure out how to tell you that when people say "they grow up so fast" they are full of crap.
Fast doesn't cut it.
This week I took Karleigh to Kindergarten. I walked through the front doors, and turned the corner expecting to see a ton of parents all doing the same thing. For whatever reason (and we WERE on time for the record) I had Keegan on my left hip and Karleigh holding my right hand and we turned that corner and it was just us. All the way to her classroom. I looked down at her and told her " oh no! Im gonna cry!" and she looked up at me and said "you're crazy mom"
I remember when I found out that I was pregnant. 21 and filled with excitement and OH MY GOODNESS! (probably not the word that I was thinking at that moment)
I remember one night rushing to the hospital, afraid that we were losing our baby and having an emergency ultrasound. The nurse said to me "you're ok, and baby is ok. In fact, that little blip on the screen ... thats the heartbeat"
I remember hearing that what I was SURE was a boy ... was a girl. I bought the cutest tiniest pink outfit that day.
From those days, to the first time I held her, to her first steps, first words and first tantrum. Time didn't go "fast" ... I can't even tell you WHERE it went.
I went back to work after my maternity leave was up, and soon after returned home to be a full time Mommy. I knew that I was blessed to be able to do that, but I didn't realize HOW blessed until now.
Now when someone else gets to spend 6 hours a day with her that I don't. Now when she waves goodbye to me in the morning and I head home to spend the day with only Keegan. I've never had ONLY him and it reminds me constantly of the days when I had only Karleigh.
I am happy with the way we spent our time the last 4.5 years. I am content with the things that I taught her. I will wish I did more, that's just who I am. I will wonder if I did enough and hope that she is a good and kind person to her friends at school. I will hope that everyone is nice to her because she is so sensitive (much like her Mama who is sobbing right now) though I know that hurts are inevitable even in her little life.
So no, I won't tell you that they grow up fast. I will just tell you this, love them, love them, and love them. At the end of the day, you will both be better off knowing that you adored them as much as you possibly could.
First Birthday :)
First day of School
