why does judgement come so natural?

I've been trying to post something for a while now, but couldn't think of the right topic. What did I have to say that would mean anything to anyone? I came up with nothing ... until tonight.

I was at the post office and the most pleasant lady was helping me. In a nutshell I had to PAY to pick up a package that had been returned to me. A package that I already paid to send in the first place. If I chose NOT to pay to retrieve this parcel, Canada Post would kindly keep it, store it for X number of days and then I'm sure someone would end up opening it up, keeping the magazine, twizzlers and gum and without a second thought, toss out the card celebrating 60 days of sobriety and the pictures of this anonymous persons little brother and sister ... weird.

I paid to receive the package ... again ... so that I can give it to Logan myself when I see her, for free ... anyway! The lady was sweet enough to give me another pre paid envelope for next time which I thought was a nice gesture. You see I briefly told her, when she asked me if I'd rather refuse the package, that this was for my daughter. No, while I didn't really feel like I paying for it again, I still wanted her to have it. Somewhere in there I said "it's special, theres photos and a card celebrating her 60 days, she's in treatment" she said to me "what is she in treatment for, if you don't mind me asking" ... I didn't mind, and so I answered with no problem "drugs, addiction."

She put her head down and said "oh" in a way that seemed as though I had just stuck her with an infected needle.

At that moment, I assumed that she was judging me, and in return, I was judging her also. Do I know for a fact that she was judging me? Absolutely not. So why is it our natural reaction to assume so? If someone told me that they were sending a package to someone in rehab I certainly wouldn't think any less of them ... BUT,  I know better. I am that person. I do send packages to someone there. Perhaps if all of this had not happened I would be just like her. I wouldn't know how to react, I might put my head down too.

I guess this is all to say that you don't know where someone has been, or where they are headed. I have no idea what made her uncomfortable about my comment, was it because she has no idea what it's like, or was it because she knows EXACTLY what it's like? She has no idea how I, the young lady on the other side of the counter who is 27 but looks 19 has ended up with a 20 year old step daughter ... or maybe she does know, maybe I'm just assuming. It's so easy to think that we have all the answers. It's so easy to assume that our opinions are correct. It's not so easy when God slaps you in the face with the realization that you just might be wrong though. When he reminds you that YOU are not the one with all the answers.

I must have needed that reminder today. Maybe I live my life worrying so much that I am the one being judged that I don't even notice that I am unknowingly doing it to others at the same time.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”