Dear 21 Year Old Me

Dear 21 Year Old Me,

The guy that you just described to your parents, the one who is 31 and is a single dad with 2 kids (one of whom is closer to your age than he is) - he's a keeper.

The relationship that you just got out of that at times was so great and other times was so bad, you'll get over it, and you'll also realize that those bad times helped to shape a good portion of your life from there forward.

When she asks to help make dinner with you just let her, even if you feel like being alone at that stage of the day. In a couple of years she won't live with you and in a couple more after that you will wish that she did again.

When he drives you bonkers because he's so much like his dad and you just want him to be his own person, don't worry. He just thinks that his dad is the coolest, but in a few years he will change, become his own wonderful identity and you will wonder where that little guy went.

Right now it seems impossible. You may never understand how someone can live without their kids, and thats ok, you don't ever need to know. You might not agree with some of the things that have happened, and thats ok too, it wasn't your life and judging won't help anyone. Over the next 6 years though you will develop a soft spot in your heart for his ex-wife. You will realize one day that it's just there, no matter how much hurt has gone on between you or how you feel sometimes, it's so much better that way. You're no good at being unkind, let's be honest.

He will propose, you won't be the stepmom/mom with the partner whose divorce will never be finalized forever. Just be patient, I know that's not always your best quality but I promise it will be perfect.

When he dreams big, let him. He's a little quirky but he has amazing ideas and you will watch his dreams become reality and be so proud of him and so proud to be his wife.

In a few short months you will find out that you are pregnant, first you will learn never to take a test at work again but besides that you will be excited, after all this IS what you've always wanted. You will also be scared, don't be ... it will be just fine and SHE will be beautiful.

You will tell the other 2 that they are going to have a baby brother or sister. It will be a perfect moment, they will be excited - but you won't know for a few years how truly special it is for your babies to have these siblings. Big brother will be there for every milestone, every birthday, boo boo and tantrum and they will love him. Big sister however will miss a lot of this, enjoy the first few months with 2 daughters in the house and hold them close to your heart. Take lots of pictures and don't let them forget.

Keep dreaming about a Fairy Tale Wedding because my dear in about 3 years you will have it.

You will get to enjoy the "lets try to have a baby" moment that others experience, but it will be brief. The sweetest little man will pop into your life before you plan it - and he too will be beautiful.

Your children will have the 4 best Grandparents in the whole world.

At 23 you will find God, and the words 'beauty' 'grace' and 'faith' will take on entirely new meanings. wow.

Finally, 21 Year Old Me - at 27 you will look back at the last 6 years and wonder where they went, how you crammed so much into them and struggle to hang on to every single important moment even though you know that this is impossible but because that is what YOU do. Just enjoy all of the moments from here forward, know that you are one lucky lady and your life is so very full. Be thankful and whenever you can, help others to do the same.

You'll do great.

xxoo